Hello, neighbors. My name is Grant Sharma, and I’m a managing partner at Haverford Ridge Capital. As of last Tuesday, we are the proud new owners of 2218 Linden Avenue, or, as many of you know it, the House That Gives Out Full-Size Candy Bars.
First off, nothing is changing.
Barb built something special here. For thirty-one years, she turned on her porch light, filled a mixing bowl with full-size Snickers and Crunch bars, and sat on the steps in a witch hat saying, “Take two, sweetie.” Kids beg their parents to drive in from other zip codes for this house. You can’t buy that. Well, you can, if you offer 40 percent above asking.
We are simply here to help it scale. You may notice a few updates.
Finding the full-size candy bar house is one of childhood’s great moments. We would never take that away. We’ve just tweaked it. Every kid still walks away with a full-size wrapper. There’s just a fun-size bar inside it now. We tested it, and kids can’t tell until they get home, at which point it’s a parenting issue.
“Take two” has been sunsetted. It was never sustainable, and it sent the wrong message about scarcity. We did pilot “take one and a half,” but the Snickers didn’t split evenly.
Barb has transitioned out of the day-to-day, and we are enormously grateful for her service. Her role on the steps is now filled by a bowl and a laminated sign reading PLEASE TAKE ONE (1), which performs Barb’s core functions at a fraction of the labor cost. In testing, the bowl was emptied by the first kid in under a minute, which we’re treating as strong demand.
We’re also excited to introduce Treat+. For $4.99 a month, billed all twelve months, your child can skip the line, get first pick of the Reese’s, and receive a text when the porch light comes on. Standard trick-or-treaters will still receive candy, subject to availability, which we control.
Some of you have asked about the inflatable ghost. The ghost is staying. It’s the highest-recall asset on the property, and we would never touch it. We did sell it to a separate entity and lease it back, so now it’s technically haunting the house on a five-year term.
As part of the deal, 2218 Linden took on some debt, which we used to pay ourselves a small dividend for all the hard work of buying it. As a result, the house will likely need to restructure around November 1. Please don’t worry. This happens to many places people love. Toys “R” Us went through the exact same thing. We’re confident the house will come out of it leaner and ready for a strong Christmas.
Happy Halloween from all of us at Haverford Ridge Capital. The porch light will be on from 6 to 6:45 p.m.