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March 1, 2024
PI Global Investments

Vacation homeowners see brazen relatives demanding use of the property

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are fortunate to have been able to build a vacation home. In our first year of owning this property, we have hosted many family members and friends, as well as invited our college-aged children to host their friends. We have also offered the home to my sister when she was visiting her daughter, who attends college nearby.

Now an adult relative asked to use the house (without us there) for a vacation with their partner, and I’m finding myself conflicted by this request.

Building this home was a big decision for us, and we are not interested in making it a rental property. I am not keen on setting a precedent that opens the door to my sizable extended family requesting weeks they want to use our home — but perhaps we already have by inviting our children and my sister to use it.

I wonder if there is an appropriate way to set boundaries that balance my desire to be generous with my desire to limit unattended guests to those we invite per specific circumstances.

GENTLE READER: You do not need to make excuses. It is your home, and you may lend it — or not — to anyone you like. You know — as does Miss Manners, and anyone else who tries to compare the situations — that a daughter and sister are quite different from these more distant, and more brazen, relatives.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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